All My Bags Are Packed...

...and I'm on a guilt trip.

Mornings like this really get to me. Chaos reigned in our house this morning. We started by waking up late which always makes a morning crazy. Kathleen came out of her room and told me she needed plates and cups for school today for their Pi Day celebration in Geometry class. So I had to hurriedly throw myself together and start getting Emmy ready so I could take Kathleen to the store before class started.

Emmy wanted me to take her to school this morning. Her Dad normally drops her off at school. I don't know why she suddenly wanted me, but as I prepared leave the house to take Kathleen to the store, Emmy went into full sob mode. She threw her arms around my legs and cried her little heart out because she didn't want me to go. It breaks my heart when she does that. I'm away from her twelve hours a day, and I know she doesn't get enough Mommy time. It kills me to leave her when she wants me so badly. Her daddy had to peel her off me and hold onto her so I could get Kathleen to the store and to school on time.

I've never been a very ambitious person. All I really wanted, from the time I was a small girl, was to get a college education, get married and be a stay at home Mom. I don't have that option, so I do the best I can at the job I have and try to go as far as I can within the company. But I hate the time away from my kids. They need me more than this corporation does, but we can't live without the paycheck.

I managed to get to work only 15 minutes late which isn't bad considering how the morning started. But the picture in my head this morning is of my little girl sobbing her heart out in her Daddy's arms because she couldn't be with me. My family deserves better than this.